Today's Headlines

Article Destined To Increase Sales Of Drug
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/09/29/AR2009092903491.html?hpid=artslot

Michael Jackson Is Carnivals' Newest Attraction
http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-rides30-2009sep30,0,3182406.story

A Cottage With A Stunning View
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/kent/8282368.stm

Song Is Warning And Invitation For Men Everywhere
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-zHVW7Zy_vg

Today's Headlines

Florida's Naked, Masturbating Motorcyclist Epidemic
http://www.wtsp.com/news/watercooler/story.aspx?storyid=113689&catid=58

Ass Bomber Fails Suicide Mission
http://www.stratfor.com/weekly/20090902_aqap_paradigm_shifts_and_lessons_learned

Threats On The President A Giant No-No
http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/nation/la-na-obama-facebook29-2009sep29,0,6007621.story?track=rss

You Don't Need A Polygraph To See Tony Stewart Likes Whoppers
http://www.latimes.com/business/la-fi-ct-neil29-2009sep29,0,2368391.column

Bonus: Not News
High Heels Are Painful

Today's Headlines

Iranian Jews Want Additional Things To Atone For
http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-beliefs28-2009sep28,0,5954540.story?track=rss

Brewer's Answer To Outrage: Fuel More Outrage*
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/scotland/north_east/8278312.stm

"Like A Virgin" In Egypt*
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/8279276.stm

Chavez is "Looney Tunes"*
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/8277129.stm

(*Danke EAM)

Today's Headlines

Charity Formed To "Save The Boobs"
http://www.latimes.com/business/la-fi-ct-neil22-2009sep22,0,4863346.column (Video: Here)

Illinois Court Finds Faith And Bigotry More Important Than Family And Love
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/chi-ap-il-illinois-jewsonly,0,3861158.story

Murdered Quarterback Apparently Not A Welcomed Theme Park Attraction
http://nfl.fanhouse.com/2009/09/23/skeletons-depicting-steve-mcnair-sahel-kazemi-featured-in-king/?icid=webmailwbml-aoldl7link4http%3A%2F%2Fnfl.fanhouse.com%2F2009%2F09%2F23%2Fskeletons-depicting-steve-mcnair-sahel-kazemi-featured-in-king%2F

The Story of A Man With "Douche In His Veins"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fad6eZTDikA

Today's Headlines

Which Do You Care More About, The Environment Or Your Ass?
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/09/23/AR2009092304711.html?hpid=topnews

German Hikers Face Increased Mosquito Threat (Danke EAM)
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/8270397.stm

Inmate Has Impromptu Swine Flu Party
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/dorset/8272799.stm

"Pink's Sparkly Vagina!"
http://www.buzzfeed.com/eliot/pinks-creepy-nude-bodysuit-nsfw-26q

Today's Headlines

Apparent Ploy For Attention Actually A Hoax
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/09/02/AR2009090201675.html?hpid=features1&hpv=local

Ex-Inmate Injured Braking Into Jail
http://www.floridatoday.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2009909010313

Preschool Teachers Sickened By Pot Brownies
http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/lanow/2009/09/pot-brownies-sicken-preschool-teachers.html

Hitler Got A Lot Of Calls
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/8234018.stm

Not News: Dan Snyder Is An Evil Bastard